It Is That Time of Year Again… Holiday Party Rules

By John Lowe IV

In early November, I snuck out of town for a "babymoon" – that last vacation before one's world is turned upside down when one's family grows by 50%. It was great, but I returned to find that our tax and compensation gurus had taken command of the E-Alert controls and issued an alert relating to "SERPS, phantom stock and bonus deferral plans." Most people who know me know that I didn't have anything to do with writing that alert because (1) my picture wasn't on it; and, (2) every time I hear the phrase "phantom stock," I call for intellectual back-up.

If that alert made you feel like Kevin Bacon's character Fenwick in "Diner" when he said, "Do you ever get the impression there is a lot going on out there we don't know about?," don't feel bad. For me it was a dizzying reminder of exactly why I am not a tax attorney. Rest assured, however, that I have wrestled back control of the E-Alerts from the tax folks (between you and me, it wasn't much of a tussle) just in time to deliver our annual "Don't Have Any Fun At The Holiday Party" reminder.

So:

1. Attendance
   Don't make attendance at the Holiday Party mandatory.

2. Alcohol
   If alcohol is being served, make sure that a third party is serving it.

   Remind employees that some people think that alcohol makes people say things they might not otherwise say, do things they might not otherwise do.

   Remind management that responding during a deposition with, "Yes, but that was during the holiday party and I was drunk" may feel like it mitigates the allegations, but it does not.

3. Insurance
   Confirm with your insurance agent or broker that the company is covered for liabilities arising from the party.

4. Religion
   Don't allow employees to use the party as an opportunity to proselytize about their faith. Religious discrimination and religious harassment claims continue to be the fastest growing of all discrimination claims.

5. Transportation
   Put out a memo before the party explaining that cab vouchers will be available to anyone who wants or needs them. At the party, don't be bashful in pushing employees who have been drinking to use the vouchers. You would prefer to defend the lawsuit for "wrongful theft of car keys at a holiday party" than any other potential suit. Besides, 99.9% of the time, the employee will thank you the next day.

6. One Last Mantra
   Repeat after me: "There is no place for mistletoe at our party."